The past several months I have been much more focused on first life things including living out in the woods in a tent structure in great solitude. I had just moved to a farm where the feeling of grounded love and purpose was a great relief from some of the chaos I had been going through with other places I had been living, and I loved having much work to do that was of something so important as growing fruits and vegetables, sunlight food. But then I had an accident, falling and breaking a vertebrae in my back, about a week and a half ago now. Being so laid up I am considering again the purpose of the things I do and allowing myself the inner time and the rest I had not been... so... where I am on my path I am realizing I will be no where else, I cannot push myself past my current emotional limitations, not in the way I was attempting, and so now I'm hoping to renew my connections to the things which nourish my spirit.
Not, in fact, that growing food does not. I was explained once by an astrologer of the conjunction between Mars, and Neptune and Jupiter in my natal chart--Mars sits always between them, its will to action torn between expansion in the world by the work of manifesting nourishment and healing other practical concerns (Jupiter in Capricorn), and the dreamy and spiritual quest for other and continually deeper and greater worlds that I have always had and fervently expressed in my art and writing (Neptune in Sagittarius).
Astrology aside, though, I have found I'm awfully grateful for the time and sweetness this accident has afforded me to open up to support from others, to know that my action in love is good and my nonaction even better. To start actively putting myself into places of consciousness again where I know I want to head, and not allow all to be solely dictated by the struggles and work I am doing in the outside world. It is time for me to more choose my activities, my thoughts, and even the books I read.
Peace, blessings, and aloha to you all... and hopefully I can make myself more frequent, at least for a little while. :)
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